With the new year many of us take the opportunity at a "New Year, New Me" and join a gym or start a fitness program in an effort to live a healthier life in the new year. This man however took the opposite approach and left his gym. But did so in the most hilarious way possible. As per company requirements, of a written notice to end his membership, this gym goer (no longer) took the opportunity to pen a hilarious "breakup letter."
The letter reads:
“To whom it may concern,
It is with deep regret, and a heavy heart that I write this letter, but I must come forth with my intentions with sincerity and honesty. Certain events in my life have put me in a different place, and while it was one of the more taxing decisions I’ve had to make of late, it is the right one. The purpose of this letter is to end my relationship with Planet Fitness Orange.” “I know I’ve been distant, but it’s because I’ve changed. I have different needs now, and to be frank… you really haven’t changed at all. You’re still that bulky, purple and yellow building with the tootsie rolls at the counter. I don’t want to change you, and it pains me to think that we were once one, but are now separate and in different places."
“Furthermore, I”ve moved onto and into a new facility (the gym at my apartment complex), with a state of art whatchamacallit that really tones my thighs and masters my ass in ways that were hitherto unknown, and at proximity that would make you blush if you were to think about it. I don’t want you to be jealous, or to judge me based on this decision. That’s not the Planet Fitness that I know and love. I still love you, but more like a friend at this point. I’m sorry things couldn’t have been better between us.”
“I still think fondly of you, and the time we spent together as I drive by one of your many locations. Sometimes, when I’m alone, I even throw on one of my old “power-pop workout” playlists and feel the rush of our past course through me as if we were still one, holding hands with your elliptical machine, and gingerly brushing my sweaty bangs out of my face as I huff and puff in a tumultuous vortex of sweat and endorphins. "
“However, all good things must come to an end, and I hope this letter finds you well. You just keep being you and while we will both grow, it will be into our own new lives without each other. I think this is for the better.
Yours in Christ,Robert
P.S. My wife also needs to cancel her membership.”