Working hard on a career, for 10 years, that finally broke through with the monster that was Fight Song is a pretty amazing, incredible accomplishment, but it doesn't even come close to being someone's Mommy.
This is one of my most exciting announcements, but also one of my most vulnerable. So here goes.... I am pregnant!! I can’t believe I’m finally typing these words – I have wanted to share this news for months. As I thought about how to share what I have been experiencing, I became paralyzed about doing it the exact, perfect way - how to express all of my total bliss and yet all this fear too? I finally realized that I can’t worry about making being ME comfortable for everybody else, I have to share this journey MY WAY: with honesty, vulnerability, love and an open heart. The truth is, I am overwhelmed with love, joy and happiness about our baby. It’s a total miracle that I’m growing a human and my husband and I couldn’t be more thrilled. But, I have also had an incredibly difficult spring and summer with serious nausea, exhaustion, constant sickness and all the awful symptoms no one wants to really talk about when sharing the “perfect blessed journey” of pregnancy. I was so afraid that if I shared that part (the difficulty of flying and performing while puking in green rooms and airplanes) that I’d seem ungrateful somehow when I’m actually crazy full of gratitude - I’m just HUMAN. Human emotions are complex. We can feel more than one thing at once you know? We can hold both love and wonder and aw and joy, but also frustration and sickness and fear and darker stuff too and it’s normal! So anyway, that’s where I’m at my loves. With all the mystery and wonder around this, one thing that has been abundantly clear to me: this little unbelievable soul that I haven’t even met yet is going to be my biggest teacher in the world and I cannot wait to learn. I love you all so much, and I promise to continue to share as much of this process with you as I can. Xoxoxox, a totally happy, exhausted, not so nauseous today Rach.